Someone making fun of your nappies is doing something wrong. Your body-management method is private, and you deserve the same respect as any other child.
Key points
- Teasing often works by pretending toilet use proves maturity.
- You do not have to explain medical information or personal choices to classmates.
- Bullying can make children hide leaks, avoid drinking or stop asking for help.
Why this can happen
Teasing often works by pretending toilet use proves maturity. It does not.
You do not have to explain medical information or personal choices to classmates.
What you can do
Bullying can make children hide leaks, avoid drinking or stop asking for help. Telling a trusted adult is a form of self-protection, not tattling.
The school should protect your privacy and deal with repeated teasing.
- Write down what happened and when.
- Tell a parent, teacher or safeguarding lead.
- Ask for a private way to request changes.
- Use a short response such as 'That is private. Stop.'
- Stay near supportive friends.
The important thing is that you are cared for, listened to and safe. A toilet is one tool and a nappy is another. You are not worse because one of them works better for you.
When to tell an adult
Tell an adult immediately if anyone tries to expose you, touch your nappy, take photographs or stop you from getting care.
Information for parents and carers
Whale, Cramer and Joinson found that young people with continence problems faced secrecy, fear of bullying, restricted access and interrupted learning at school. Current GOV.UK guidance confirms that education providers must not discriminate against disabled students and must make reasonable adjustments.
The wider principle
The wider case is set out in Beyond the Toilet: Toilet Use, Non-Toilet Use and Bodily Freedom. Its central point is that toilet use is a learned body-management system, not a biological or moral requirement.
A closely related explanation is available in What If the Toilet Scares Me?.
Conclusion
Your body is not bad, and wearing a nappy does not decide how clever, brave or grown-up you are. Ask for the care and privacy you need, and tell a trusted adult when something hurts or feels unsafe.
Sources and further reading
- Whale, Cramer and Joinson, Left Behind and Left Out
- GOV.UK: Disability rights in education
- Beyond the Toilet: Toilet Use, Non-Toilet Use and Bodily Freedom